My boss came in when I was working the other day, and we had a good chat. I told him that I was having a relatively unenjoyable day, and he asked why. I thought to myself, hmph, the times, they are a-changing.

I mentioned a few trivial things that had frustrated me a little, but they certainly weren't anything out of the ordinary for a pharmacist to deal with on a weekday. Eventually, I cut to the chase, and said;

'Today's the first day since pre-reg that I don't want to be at work. I know I don't work a lot, but usually, once I'm here, I revel in being at work. I like helping people out, I like the staff, and usually the bureaucratic crap that's a pharmacist's bread and butter, is well, bread and butter. But today, well, today's a day that I'm thankful that I'm doing Medicine.'

I've been spoilt recently; I'd only worked once since Easter, and at SQuIRT there was always time between patients to take a deep breath behind a closed door. Pharmacy can be a bit of a stage when the store's ten-deep, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like performing.

Of course, it's all a frame of mind. I'm not so deluded as to think that Pharmacy and Medicine are at opposite ends of any spectrum, I just hadn't mentally prepared for a long and arduous day's work. My mindset wasn't about hard work, and I think, on that day I showed up with cash in mind. Instead of thinking about each person and their problem or question, I battled through the day. I fluffed around on the computer, and was getting by on my basic levels of 'giving a crap', allowing each small annoyance to add up, instead of letting it slide the way I normally do.

I went home feeling pretty disgusted at myself. Even though in the words of the Beastie Boys, I got the skills to pay the bills, I didn't get into Healthcare for the money. It's just a handy byproduct of actually doing my bit in the community, once I've covered the essentials.

I don't want to have another day like that, either in Pharmacy, or, when the time comes, in Medicine. I'm in healthcare because people get sick, and they need something. If that's confirmation that it's okay to give panadol and antibiotics, fine. If that something is a bandaid, fine. If that something is surgery and a week of inpatient care, fine.

I will do my best to play a role in that care, where I can.

I will not sit at the dispensary computer browsing Facebook when there are patients in the store.
I will not be a Newspaper pharmacist like the ones I used to berate.
I will pay more than a passing interest in the mire of Panadeine Extra and Cold and 'flu tablets passing through my hands.
I will be nicer to the methadone patients; I will eat the bread and butter.

I will talk to more of my elderly customers, I will not think of them as LOLs in NAD.
I will take greater pride in my work.

I will remember why I love pharmacy. I will not let my sense of optimism and hope that shines through every other aspect of my life be dulled when I go to work. I am too young to allow blemishes of cynicism win out over optimistic realism. It's not my style.

I have twenty months left as a Pharmacist, and crikey, in that time, I'm gonna be interested in my job. Because when I stop being a Pharmacist, I'll stop as a damn good one.