It's a week until my paediatrics exam. I've enjoyed the rotation tremendously; it's had the challenge of internal medicine, the wonder of babies and, above all, hope.

Hope is something that tends to be forgotten in hospitals; prognosis boils down to a chance number, a percentage, a fact. Of course that applies to kids too, but the odds seem so much better. A small difference now makes a huge difference down the track. Of course that statement goes both ways, but hey, I'm an optimist.

Paediatrics has been hard. In fact, it's been the most intellectually challenging and rewarding part of medicine I've done. Part of it, I know, is about gaining more experience, thinking systematically and broadly. The other part, I can't explain. The part that gets me out of bed in the morning and to the hospital full of beans (and biscuits). The part that finds me the energy to study late into the night. The part that gets me out cycling for hours at a go, not to avoid study, but to have a clear, sharp, focused mind when the books again fall open in front of me.

I know that, in the wide world of paeds, I have so much to learn. I want to learn it. I'm willing to take my time, soak up the experiences on offer, talk to kids, mums and dads, consultants and junior docs.

Paeds isn't about wolfing down a ginormous meal and digesting it, nor is it about finding a magic key to a hidden lock; it's a long, hard, intellectually and emotionally challenging road. I don't expect to wake up and be the best, nor will I get top of the class in this rotation, but I want to be good at this for a long, long time. I am ready and I am willing.

The last seven weeks has crystallised what I already know;

I want to be a paediatrician.