Diarrhoea is watery or liquid stools, usually with an increase in stool weight above 200 g daily and an increase in daily stool frequency. - BMJ Clinical Evidence; 4 Mar 2008

Customer: My wife's got a tummy bug. She keeps going to the toilet for number two, and it's like water. Just straight liquid.

Me: So, how long has your wife had diarrhoea?

C: It's not diarrhoea. It's just like water.

Me: Is there any blood?

C: Nah, it's just bad smelling water.

Me: And it's coming out her bum?

C: Yep. It's definitely not diarrhoea.


*sigh*